Yes my mother's name was Mary but that is not what I am referring to. I am referring most specifically to a poem by Rudyard Kipling called The Sons Of Martha. It is a poetic relation of the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42
The poem elaborates heavily on the theme set by the passage of not worrying too much about the little things in life and to focus instead on God.
The first two lines of this poem are:
The sons of Mary seldom bother, for they have inherited that good part;
But the Sons of Martha favour their Mother of the careful soul and the troubled heart.
I have been told many times over the past half of a decade that I come across as very pompous and arrogant. That my demeanor reflects this most heavily. And I have come to the decision that it is true. I am not saying that I am pompous or arrogant but I am acknowledging that my demeanor poses that impression. There is, however, a reason for this and it is for that reason that I have finally come to accept this perception.
In my youth I had a very peculiar characteristic. I didn't worry. In fact, that characteristic carried through until I was about 29 years of age. I simply did not worry. I felt that nothing of consequence could affect me. Because I did not worry I strolled through life. I had faith that God would allow no terrible harm to befall me and because of this I most certainly must have (and still do) appear to the world to be arrogant. To appear as if I believe myself better than the world. This, however, is not the case. It is simply that I believe whatever is presented to me in life that God will carry me through it. I felt this way because of an unerring and unfaltering faith in God. The thing that changed that was that I took on a family (which was and is a good thing.)
The problem was that I had always had faith in God to take care of me but I had been taught by society that it was my place to take care of my family. I felt that God would continue to care for me but that I had to take on the responsibility of my family. Basically I discovered that my faith was very narrow and limited.
It is because of this change in faith that I, myself, changed. When I took on my wife and children I suddenly started to worry. That worry has eaten away at me for 5 years. It began to eat at me in recognizable ways the moment I took on the role of father and husband and it began almost immediately to change me. It changed me from the man my wife had fallen in love with into a man who reacted to everything with fear.
Every time my wife said something and I mistook her meaning or reason for saying it I snapped back with fear. Every time we had a problem financially and I felt it was my fault for not providing I reacted with fear. Every time my wife reacted irrationally to a situation (which was frequently in the beginning because she was mentally ill and not diagnosed or treated properly) I did not know how to react and so I reacted in fear. In fact I look at all of my poor behaviors and I realize that they were, and are, all manifestations of fear.
There are two things that make this realization all the worse for me. The first is that I can look back and see many times when God showed me that he would take care of me AND my family. He tried as hard as I would let him to show me that I did not need to fear and yet I continued to do so. The second thing is that I now that I am aware of this I have let go of my fear and it will no longer control me. I am now returning to the man I was before I found fear but I believe it is too late. It took me too long to listen to God. It took me too long to realize what had made me change from the person I was (the person I liked, the person my wife loved) into the impatient, loud and reactive man I have been for five years. I believe that my family has been to irrevocably harmed by my fearful reactions to forgive them and certainly too much to forget them and so they will forever remember me for what I have done for these past five years and no matter what I become they will always FEAR that I will become that way again.
There is a very distinct chance that I will continue on in my life alone. My wife has lost the attraction she had to me because I became an unattractive person and because of this she wants to move on. My children love me because children are forgiving but they owe their loyalty first and foremost to their mother and that is how it should be. My wife dislikes the desert whereas I have an affinity for it. She will move on with her life and her life will carry her away from here and it will, most probably, do so without me. I will hurt for the loss of the woman I love with all my heart and for the children I would give everything for but I know I cannot follow when they leave. I may see them on occasion and they will be able to see the man I will have re-become but always they will remember the man I was. I can only apologize for that man and hope someday to be forgiven for him.
I am a son of Mary who, for a time, became a son of Martha. I worried too much about the world and forgot to listen to God. For this my life has suffered. Not as a punishment but as a lesson. I know that God will care for me and I know that I will be carried through this. I just wish I had let Him carry me before I fell so far behind the needs of those I love.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Terrible I tell you
Not a single comment on any of my posts in over 10 weeks now. Guess I started getting too weird for everyone...
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Another dream
Why? Mostly 'cause it gets it off my chest and also because I haven't posted anything in a little while. Before I start I would like to post a link though. Intrusive Thoughts are something that everyone experiences from time to time. There are those, however, who have extremely vivid thoughts or who have trouble dismissing them or accepting them. The page itself is not nearly as helpful as the comments by visitors. If you have intrusive thoughts and feel helpless or alone in experiencing them check out the user comments at that site.
So I found myself with some time to kill sitting at a table in Charlie's restaurant. I had a while before I had to get back from lunch so I treated myself to a protracted hallucination.
At first I see a wooden post. Then at the base of the post a shape comes into focus. The shape is a cartoon like drawing of fire. As I see the fire my perspective pans upward and pulls back just a little. I see that the post is a cross and that flames are rising from the arms and top of the cross.
Just as I see all this a little boy around 11 years old leans in from the left. He has fair skin and glasses and his bangs are brushed into a high "wave" shape. He leans back out after only a split second.
Now my view pulls back some more and I see that the cross is a painting on the wall and the boy is standing in front of it. He takes a match and lights fire to the lower right corner of the picture and watches as it starts to burn. After it has burned the corner off of the picure he cuts the burning section off with a pair of scissors.
The burning corner falls to the floor where it ignites the carpet and part of the wall. The fire burns very hot and fast as if there is an accelerant involved. The fire burs so quickly in fact that there is a 4 foot wide swath of fire with only decimated ash in its wake. As the fire takes hold of the room I see the boy sitting on the floor with his back against the left wall. His left knee is drawn up while his right leg is extended and he is reading a book.
The flames engulf him entirely in a matter of seconds (he doesn't even move) and as they pass over him his body crumbles into a pile of ash in their wake.
Then I open my eyes, take a sip of my soda and head off to the Home Depot to wander around before resuming my post at the paint desk for another 3 hours.
So I found myself with some time to kill sitting at a table in Charlie's restaurant. I had a while before I had to get back from lunch so I treated myself to a protracted hallucination.
At first I see a wooden post. Then at the base of the post a shape comes into focus. The shape is a cartoon like drawing of fire. As I see the fire my perspective pans upward and pulls back just a little. I see that the post is a cross and that flames are rising from the arms and top of the cross.
Just as I see all this a little boy around 11 years old leans in from the left. He has fair skin and glasses and his bangs are brushed into a high "wave" shape. He leans back out after only a split second.
Now my view pulls back some more and I see that the cross is a painting on the wall and the boy is standing in front of it. He takes a match and lights fire to the lower right corner of the picture and watches as it starts to burn. After it has burned the corner off of the picure he cuts the burning section off with a pair of scissors.
The burning corner falls to the floor where it ignites the carpet and part of the wall. The fire burns very hot and fast as if there is an accelerant involved. The fire burs so quickly in fact that there is a 4 foot wide swath of fire with only decimated ash in its wake. As the fire takes hold of the room I see the boy sitting on the floor with his back against the left wall. His left knee is drawn up while his right leg is extended and he is reading a book.
The flames engulf him entirely in a matter of seconds (he doesn't even move) and as they pass over him his body crumbles into a pile of ash in their wake.
Then I open my eyes, take a sip of my soda and head off to the Home Depot to wander around before resuming my post at the paint desk for another 3 hours.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Wrong on SO MANY levels
Obvious issues...1) Freaky, Twilight Zone, monkeys 2) Friends who just keep on riding on their "9 block ride" and don't stop or seem to care that their friends have been killed along the way 3) Creepy announcer trying to make witty remarks about each death 4) The fact that this was an educational video in the 70's. No wonder our parents are so screwed up ;-)
Saturday, March 20, 2010
More sleepless dreams
I see a spinning planter (it looks like an inverted pyramid set on a cubical base.) The planter spins faster and faster and then inverts and becomes a brown cloth wizard's hat. The hat is being worn by an old, dark skinned Dwarf with white hair. The Dwarf removes the hat and there is a smaller, rust red hat under it. This hat has a braided tassel. The tassel has a frayed end that moves closer and closer to me. The end turns black and becomes hair. The hair is the pony tail of a shrunken head. The head turns toward me. It has bright white paint markings over it's eyes and the lips are pulled far back from the teeth. It is turning to the left and it's jaw protrudes grotesquely forward. As it comes to face me I see that the upper jaw is broken away from the teeth to the eye socket on the head's right side.
And so I open my eyes...not because of the imagery (shrunken skulls with shattered jaws are VERY tame compared to what I sometimes see) but because I'm tired and the head just stopped and hung there staring at me and I didn't want to wait it out to see what was coming up next.
And so I open my eyes...not because of the imagery (shrunken skulls with shattered jaws are VERY tame compared to what I sometimes see) but because I'm tired and the head just stopped and hung there staring at me and I didn't want to wait it out to see what was coming up next.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Garmin Nuvi 205 additional information
The reason for this post is that Garmin lists the nuvi 205 as not being Geocaching friendly. I just got the opportunity to use my nuvi 205 for Geocaching and it worked nicely. The only complaint I would have is that the navigation icon covers the geocache icon as you get close to it.
So here's how easy it was:
1) Grab your .loc or .gpx file from geocaching.com
2) Use Mapsource (free software) to load the entire loc or gpx file onto your nuvi
3) Use the Nuvi to navigate to the cache
4) Once you're close go into the menu and select Tools, Settings, System, Usage Mode and change it over to "Pedestrian"
5) Return to the main map and then change over to the 2D map view
Suddenly the unit goes into a detailed mode that gives you accuracy to within a few feet. The only problem (as I stated above) is that the "vehicle" icon is kind of big. If someone could create a "geocaching" vehicle icon (A simple cross hair with an arrow at it's extent to indicate direction of travel) it would be perfect.
Also, the Nuvi 205 has a nice feature that allows you to set multiple "via points." I set a geocache that was most distant from me as my destination and then set each geocache between me and there as via points. The nuvi will automatically work those via points into your travel plan in the most efficient order based on your route preference (faster time, shorter distance, less fuel, off road)
All in all I would say it's quite suitable for Geocaching despite what the web site says. Don't forget though that if you're going for multiple caches you'll want to switch that Usage Mode back to Automobile before heading from one cache to the next. Otherwise the unit thinks you're on foot and will keep telling you to do silly things like cross the street to the left hand side and will weave you through all sorts of side roads and places you wouldn't really want to take your car.
So here's how easy it was:
1) Grab your .loc or .gpx file from geocaching.com
2) Use Mapsource (free software) to load the entire loc or gpx file onto your nuvi
3) Use the Nuvi to navigate to the cache
4) Once you're close go into the menu and select Tools, Settings, System, Usage Mode and change it over to "Pedestrian"
5) Return to the main map and then change over to the 2D map view
Suddenly the unit goes into a detailed mode that gives you accuracy to within a few feet. The only problem (as I stated above) is that the "vehicle" icon is kind of big. If someone could create a "geocaching" vehicle icon (A simple cross hair with an arrow at it's extent to indicate direction of travel) it would be perfect.
Also, the Nuvi 205 has a nice feature that allows you to set multiple "via points." I set a geocache that was most distant from me as my destination and then set each geocache between me and there as via points. The nuvi will automatically work those via points into your travel plan in the most efficient order based on your route preference (faster time, shorter distance, less fuel, off road)
All in all I would say it's quite suitable for Geocaching despite what the web site says. Don't forget though that if you're going for multiple caches you'll want to switch that Usage Mode back to Automobile before heading from one cache to the next. Otherwise the unit thinks you're on foot and will keep telling you to do silly things like cross the street to the left hand side and will weave you through all sorts of side roads and places you wouldn't really want to take your car.
Monday, March 15, 2010
A dream without a dream
There is a white coffee cup with a wide blue band around it hanging from the string under a sun hat. The hat is pink and has a white ribbon around it. There are real roses woven into the ribbon. One of the roses has a hammock strung from one edge of a petal to the other side. Laying in the hammock is an Emperor penguin. It is lying on its left side facing away from me with it's beak pointing upward in relation to it's body. The penguin is reading a book with very old leather binding.
Ok, so now that you're totally confused here's what's going on. I experience two phenomenon. One is very rare and is called hypnagogic hallucinations or hypnagogia. The other phenomenon that I experience is constant and is called "closed-eye hallucinations".
Basically put I have extremely vivid hallucinations that manifest immediately whenever I close my eyes. Sometimes these hallucinations are full sensory hallucinations with sound, smell, etc. but they are usually just visual. They are very vivid and rapidly evolving. The scene I described above evolved in the span of 10 seconds or so.
I think they are interesting. I think they tell me something about myself as I tend to just let them run their course and do not try to affect them with conscious direction. I just close my eyes and enjoy the ride. My wife, on the other hand, is somewhat disturbed by them. As such I don't generally discuss them and have given up the habit of describing the evolution of the scenes as they are happening. Still I think that some of them are interesting enough to share so that's what I'm doing. From time to time I will post here with descriptions of these scenes. As they are immediately available to me I should have no excuse not to blog regularly.
And just to whet your appetite a bit I'll close my eyes for a few seconds before heading off to bed.
There is a sloping grassy hill that drops gently into the bank of a river. The hill becomes the tip of a crocodile's tail. The crock starts to walk off to the left and swings its tail as it goes. The tail comes toward me and blocks out all the light leaving me in darkness. First a coiled cord appears glowing green like glow in the dark paint. The cord is then filled out into a telephone. The receiver lifts off the pone and points toward me. Then the ear piece starts to twist clockwise and the mouth piece twists counter clockwise as the middle is "wrung out." Blue and pink musical notes start to fall from the wrinkles as the handset is wrung.
And then I open my eyes to finish this blog and say good night.
Ok, so now that you're totally confused here's what's going on. I experience two phenomenon. One is very rare and is called hypnagogic hallucinations or hypnagogia. The other phenomenon that I experience is constant and is called "closed-eye hallucinations".
Basically put I have extremely vivid hallucinations that manifest immediately whenever I close my eyes. Sometimes these hallucinations are full sensory hallucinations with sound, smell, etc. but they are usually just visual. They are very vivid and rapidly evolving. The scene I described above evolved in the span of 10 seconds or so.
I think they are interesting. I think they tell me something about myself as I tend to just let them run their course and do not try to affect them with conscious direction. I just close my eyes and enjoy the ride. My wife, on the other hand, is somewhat disturbed by them. As such I don't generally discuss them and have given up the habit of describing the evolution of the scenes as they are happening. Still I think that some of them are interesting enough to share so that's what I'm doing. From time to time I will post here with descriptions of these scenes. As they are immediately available to me I should have no excuse not to blog regularly.
And just to whet your appetite a bit I'll close my eyes for a few seconds before heading off to bed.
There is a sloping grassy hill that drops gently into the bank of a river. The hill becomes the tip of a crocodile's tail. The crock starts to walk off to the left and swings its tail as it goes. The tail comes toward me and blocks out all the light leaving me in darkness. First a coiled cord appears glowing green like glow in the dark paint. The cord is then filled out into a telephone. The receiver lifts off the pone and points toward me. Then the ear piece starts to twist clockwise and the mouth piece twists counter clockwise as the middle is "wrung out." Blue and pink musical notes start to fall from the wrinkles as the handset is wrung.
And then I open my eyes to finish this blog and say good night.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Garmin Nuvi 205
For the most part this blog is just a ranting and raving spot for me. However, I sometimes run across a product or piece of software I really like and I figure I should share that with the one (maybe two) people who read this thing.
We just purchased our first vehicular GPS system. Because we don't travel a whole lot and don't have much money to spare we went simple and chose the Garmin Nuvi 205. I figured "GPS is GPS and I like the Garmin name." It turns out we made a fine choice and I couldn't be more pleased.
I would urge anyone who travels to get one of these units. You can always lend it to a friend or family member when they travel (just make them swear on something important that they'll remove it from the car EVERY time they leave the vehicle.)
Bottom line though is that this thing guided us through Los Angeles as if we had lived there for years. We found food, hotel, gas and shopping with absolute ease; we were redirected instantly when I couldn't fight traffic fast enough to make a turn; we took strange and unknown off ramps for puppy potty breaks with the knowledge that we would most certainly be able to rejoin the freeway; we knew when we could afford a leg stretch or meal because the ETA is constantly updated; it even encouraged us to save on gas with an "eco challenge" game that monitors your driving and rewards you with points for accelerating and decelerating smoothly, using cruise control and keeping your speed under 65.
We just purchased our first vehicular GPS system. Because we don't travel a whole lot and don't have much money to spare we went simple and chose the Garmin Nuvi 205. I figured "GPS is GPS and I like the Garmin name." It turns out we made a fine choice and I couldn't be more pleased.
I would urge anyone who travels to get one of these units. You can always lend it to a friend or family member when they travel (just make them swear on something important that they'll remove it from the car EVERY time they leave the vehicle.)
Bottom line though is that this thing guided us through Los Angeles as if we had lived there for years. We found food, hotel, gas and shopping with absolute ease; we were redirected instantly when I couldn't fight traffic fast enough to make a turn; we took strange and unknown off ramps for puppy potty breaks with the knowledge that we would most certainly be able to rejoin the freeway; we knew when we could afford a leg stretch or meal because the ETA is constantly updated; it even encouraged us to save on gas with an "eco challenge" game that monitors your driving and rewards you with points for accelerating and decelerating smoothly, using cruise control and keeping your speed under 65.
Friday, February 19, 2010
We are doomed
I was at Wal-Mart about a week ago and was standing in line in front of a couple of "skaters." They had the long and grungy hair, loose clothing and they had the long and lazy drawl to their voices reminding me of Keanu Reeves in every movie he's ever done (but especially Bill & Ted)
So these two were looking at the candy and one of them asked the other "Should I get two of the regular size or one king size?" And the response was "The king size 'cause of the tax. It's only tax on one thing instead of tax on two things so it's less tax"
I was barely able to complete my purchase as I was concentrating on both not laughing out loud and also on not finding out if it was possible to slap the stupid out of them.
All I could think (once I could think again) was that we are doomed because these two will some day vote. But then again maybe they'll vote for reduced taxes for multiple item purchases...
So these two were looking at the candy and one of them asked the other "Should I get two of the regular size or one king size?" And the response was "The king size 'cause of the tax. It's only tax on one thing instead of tax on two things so it's less tax"
I was barely able to complete my purchase as I was concentrating on both not laughing out loud and also on not finding out if it was possible to slap the stupid out of them.
All I could think (once I could think again) was that we are doomed because these two will some day vote. But then again maybe they'll vote for reduced taxes for multiple item purchases...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Crafty Devils
What do 14 square feet of framed drywall, 36" of 1x3 lumber, 15 feet of 16 gauge galvanized wire, 38.25 square feet of cardboard, a kitchen table and two wooden chairs have in common?
That's what's required to keep our puppies confined to where we want them. It's amazing how crafty puppies can be at 7 weeks old.
That's what's required to keep our puppies confined to where we want them. It's amazing how crafty puppies can be at 7 weeks old.
Monday, January 4, 2010
I'm in charge here
I was at Burger King the other day (I must recommend their vegetarian burger as it's made with a morning star branded patty and sweet sauce. Quite tasty) and a woman walked in with a little girl who couldn't have been more than 5 years old.
Immediately upon entering the girl announced that she had to go to the bathroom and led the mother directly to it.
Once done in the bathroom they approached the counter and the little girl proclaimed that she was going to order for herself. She placed her order with the employee and then went to find a table while her mother ordered for herself.
When their food had arrived the little girl again had to use the bathroom and would not take no for an answer. Her mother told her to "just go" and stayed seated at the table. The little girl would have none of this and stood her ground until the mother relented and accompanied her to the bathroom.
Upon returning to the table and getting situated the girl decided she wanted to sit in a booster chair so the mother got up and got the chair and got the girl into it.
After this they were quiet for a while and my attention wandered until just before they left. That was when the mother, in response to something the little girl had asked, replied "because I'm in charge."
Something deep inside tells me that whatever that comment was in reference to that the little girl got her way in the end.
Immediately upon entering the girl announced that she had to go to the bathroom and led the mother directly to it.
Once done in the bathroom they approached the counter and the little girl proclaimed that she was going to order for herself. She placed her order with the employee and then went to find a table while her mother ordered for herself.
When their food had arrived the little girl again had to use the bathroom and would not take no for an answer. Her mother told her to "just go" and stayed seated at the table. The little girl would have none of this and stood her ground until the mother relented and accompanied her to the bathroom.
Upon returning to the table and getting situated the girl decided she wanted to sit in a booster chair so the mother got up and got the chair and got the girl into it.
After this they were quiet for a while and my attention wandered until just before they left. That was when the mother, in response to something the little girl had asked, replied "because I'm in charge."
Something deep inside tells me that whatever that comment was in reference to that the little girl got her way in the end.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Stocking stuffer idea
I just had an idea for a stocking stuffer. I went down to a local store here ("Just Imagine") and purchased a few pieces of Pyrite. You should be able to find them at mineral shops, museums, educationally centered establishments, etc.
Pyrite is an iron sulfide that is the color of gold. It usually looks like small crystals all bunched together or like a fine lava stone.
Tomorrow I'll be going to our local dollar store to find some black play dough. I'm going to pack the play dough around the pyrite and allow it to harden (Might bake it to speed up the process) to give it the look of a lump of coal.
The "coal" can then be broken open to reveal the "gold" center.
If you're worried that the play dough might work itself into the crevasses in the pyrite you might try wrapping the pyrite with plastic wrap before packing the play dough around it. If you do it this way I'm not sure I would recommend baking it for fast drying.
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Update: OK, so here's how they turned out. I ended up wrapping the pyrite in aluminum foil so that I could bake them once encased with play dough. I baked them which took several attempts at 450 degrees for half an hour at a time. It smelled REALLY bad too. However, I was using a dollar store knock off so that is probably the reason for the smell and for the difficulty in drying it. The stuff was also very difficult to work with and had a plastic, slimy feel to it.
Once dry it had a rough texture and some cracks in it which gave it the look of a lump of coal. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find black and I only had a black marker handy so it only ended up MOSTLY black. The kids still loved it and were thrilled to find "gold" in their coal.
So...tips for those interested in doing this? 1) Use name brand play dough or find a recipe for some online that you can make and dye yourself 2) Bake it until you're sure it's done all the way through as mine got a hard shell but was still soft on the inside the first couple of baking sessions. Longer baking time won't hurt anything and a little burning isn't an issue as it's supposed to be black anyway 3) Wrap your "gold" with aluminum foil 4) Use colored dough instead of painting or coloring it after baking as it gets on your hands when breaking it open.
Pyrite is an iron sulfide that is the color of gold. It usually looks like small crystals all bunched together or like a fine lava stone.
Tomorrow I'll be going to our local dollar store to find some black play dough. I'm going to pack the play dough around the pyrite and allow it to harden (Might bake it to speed up the process) to give it the look of a lump of coal.
The "coal" can then be broken open to reveal the "gold" center.
If you're worried that the play dough might work itself into the crevasses in the pyrite you might try wrapping the pyrite with plastic wrap before packing the play dough around it. If you do it this way I'm not sure I would recommend baking it for fast drying.
-----------------------
Update: OK, so here's how they turned out. I ended up wrapping the pyrite in aluminum foil so that I could bake them once encased with play dough. I baked them which took several attempts at 450 degrees for half an hour at a time. It smelled REALLY bad too. However, I was using a dollar store knock off so that is probably the reason for the smell and for the difficulty in drying it. The stuff was also very difficult to work with and had a plastic, slimy feel to it.
Once dry it had a rough texture and some cracks in it which gave it the look of a lump of coal. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find black and I only had a black marker handy so it only ended up MOSTLY black. The kids still loved it and were thrilled to find "gold" in their coal.
So...tips for those interested in doing this? 1) Use name brand play dough or find a recipe for some online that you can make and dye yourself 2) Bake it until you're sure it's done all the way through as mine got a hard shell but was still soft on the inside the first couple of baking sessions. Longer baking time won't hurt anything and a little burning isn't an issue as it's supposed to be black anyway 3) Wrap your "gold" with aluminum foil 4) Use colored dough instead of painting or coloring it after baking as it gets on your hands when breaking it open.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Our rapidly accelerating universe
So there are these super smart guys sitting around looking at data collected by telescopes and getting paid good money for it. These smart guys have noticed that it looks like the galaxies that are furthest from the center of the universe are accelerating. This is contrary to what SHOULD be happening. Because these galaxies have lots of matter behind them (relatively) and there is no apparent pulling force in front of them they should be slowing down.
Now these super smart guys are often incapable of uttering the three words "I don't know" and so they immediately started brainstorming to figure out why this would be happening. They have, to my knowledge, come up with four theories. 1) Our galaxy is in it's own "time bubble" (and yes they used that term.) 2) There is "dark matter" that is causing the acceleration (dark matter being this invisible thing that they THINK they can detect with their telescopes.) 3) A strange alteration of space/time when energy levels become extreme (which is strange because I was just sitting here thinking of writing this exact blog entry when I came across this web site ) and 4) Giant space faeries with giant space brooms sweeping the path clean in front of the galaxies (OK I made that last part up.)
I have a more simple explanation. I think they look like they're speeding up because they're actually slowing down. I LOVE it when my brain comes up with these things. But here's the thing. We have to dive into the shallow kiddie pool end of Einstein's relativity theory (so don't be scared.)
First off, everything in the universe is moving. Nothing is actually still. We are on earth which is spinning and orbiting the sun which is orbiting the center of our galaxy which is hurtling through space. You get the idea.
Now, Einstein says that as we approach the speed of light time is altered. For simplicity we'll say that someone orbiting the earth VERY quickly might experience 1 day while everyone on earth might experience 10 years in that time.
This idea goes both ways. The astronaut would look down and see a year pass on earth in only 2.4 hours his time. At the same time, if someone on earth could see the astronaut's watch with a super powerful telescope they would see that it takes a whole year for his watch to advance 2 hours and 24 minutes.
So here is where I get my light bulb moment. This time relativity thing shows that something moving more quickly than you appears to YOU to be progressing more slowly through time. It also shows that something moving more slowly than YOU appears to be progressing more quickly through time.
So let's look at the most simple answer here. These very distant galaxies have been spinning through space for a very long time. They have the drag of gravity behind them. They are SLOWING DOWN but since everything flew out of the big bang at the same speed(don't take me for an evolutionist because of that term. It would take another whole blog post for me to explain how the big bang is not contrary to divine creation)our galaxy has not encountered as much friction or gravitational drag as these distant ones have and is, therefore, traveling more closely to its original speed at time of creation.
So we are moving more quickly than these galaxies which means that to OUR perspective they APPEAR to be progressing through time more quickly than us. Since speed is equal to distance/time and time is being perceived incorrectly by us they appear to be traveling more quickly than they are. And since they're slowing down more rapidly than we are that time difference is becoming more pronounced and therefore makes them appear to be speeding up.
Weird isn't it?
Next problem...if they're slowing down more rapidly than we are that means we're going to run into them eventually...I wonder what the braking distance is for a galaxy our size.
Now these super smart guys are often incapable of uttering the three words "I don't know" and so they immediately started brainstorming to figure out why this would be happening. They have, to my knowledge, come up with four theories. 1) Our galaxy is in it's own "time bubble" (and yes they used that term.) 2) There is "dark matter" that is causing the acceleration (dark matter being this invisible thing that they THINK they can detect with their telescopes.) 3) A strange alteration of space/time when energy levels become extreme (which is strange because I was just sitting here thinking of writing this exact blog entry when I came across this web site ) and 4) Giant space faeries with giant space brooms sweeping the path clean in front of the galaxies (OK I made that last part up.)
I have a more simple explanation. I think they look like they're speeding up because they're actually slowing down. I LOVE it when my brain comes up with these things. But here's the thing. We have to dive into the shallow kiddie pool end of Einstein's relativity theory (so don't be scared.)
First off, everything in the universe is moving. Nothing is actually still. We are on earth which is spinning and orbiting the sun which is orbiting the center of our galaxy which is hurtling through space. You get the idea.
Now, Einstein says that as we approach the speed of light time is altered. For simplicity we'll say that someone orbiting the earth VERY quickly might experience 1 day while everyone on earth might experience 10 years in that time.
This idea goes both ways. The astronaut would look down and see a year pass on earth in only 2.4 hours his time. At the same time, if someone on earth could see the astronaut's watch with a super powerful telescope they would see that it takes a whole year for his watch to advance 2 hours and 24 minutes.
So here is where I get my light bulb moment. This time relativity thing shows that something moving more quickly than you appears to YOU to be progressing more slowly through time. It also shows that something moving more slowly than YOU appears to be progressing more quickly through time.
So let's look at the most simple answer here. These very distant galaxies have been spinning through space for a very long time. They have the drag of gravity behind them. They are SLOWING DOWN but since everything flew out of the big bang at the same speed(don't take me for an evolutionist because of that term. It would take another whole blog post for me to explain how the big bang is not contrary to divine creation)our galaxy has not encountered as much friction or gravitational drag as these distant ones have and is, therefore, traveling more closely to its original speed at time of creation.
So we are moving more quickly than these galaxies which means that to OUR perspective they APPEAR to be progressing through time more quickly than us. Since speed is equal to distance/time and time is being perceived incorrectly by us they appear to be traveling more quickly than they are. And since they're slowing down more rapidly than we are that time difference is becoming more pronounced and therefore makes them appear to be speeding up.
Weird isn't it?
Next problem...if they're slowing down more rapidly than we are that means we're going to run into them eventually...I wonder what the braking distance is for a galaxy our size.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The "pad"
There is a nifty new device out there on the market that will charge your cell phone or other electronic device just by placing it on a pad (no plugs required.) That's pretty cool. It uses an ambient electrical field to charge them. The thing is that the type of field it uses exists all around us all the time. It's nowhere close to as powerful as this pad is but it's there. In fact, whilst this pad may be able to charge your battery in a few hours (I haven't checked the specs on it) there was talk over a year ago about a technology that could do the same thing with your cell phone or other gadget while it rested in your pocket. This technology would take a little longer to charge but it worked all the time so it didn't have to do the job in 3 hours. It did the job constantly.
Herein lies the reason that we will probably never see the earlier technology and will be stuck with the pad (which still tethers you to a wall socket even if it works in a really cool way and you don't have to mess with multiple plugs)
In 2007 a study showed that there were about 203 million cell phones in use in the United States alone (2 billion world wide.)
My home has three phones in use. One by me (I talk very little), one by my wife (who talks a bit more) and one by our teenager (who texts a LOT). I figure we're a fairly rounded and average dynamic of users. My wife has to charge her phone daily, my son every day and a half or so and I charge every few days. Charging takes about 3 hours for each of our phones.
My chargers are all very close in their energy consumption. One uses 22 watts and two of them use 33 watts each.
So here comes the math (this happens a lot with me)
I charge every 3 days
kid charges every 1.5 days
wife charges every 1 day
Average 1.8 days between charging (I'll go low ball here and call it once every 2 days)
Average power consumption = (33+33+22)/3 = 29.3 watts (I'll round up to 30 and make up for that low ball)
Charging time for each phone = 3 hours
3 hours @ 30 watts = 90 watt hours (every 2 days) = 45 watt hours per day
Any of you who pay the electric bill know that you are charged by the kilowatt hour and not the watt hour. So here is where our number gets small because we divide it by 1000.
My household uses .045 kilowatt hours per day to charge our phones.
We pay 13 cents per kilowatt hour for our energy (SCE {Southern California Edison} are highway robbers) so we pay .00585 dollars per day to charge our three phones (about half a cent for those paying attention.)
That isn't much at all even less when you divide it by 3 (to get the amount each phone costs). Even at 365 days a year that's only 71 cents a year we spend charging one phone. But remember that first little statistic? There were, in 2007, 203 million cell phones in use in the United States. So let's multiply that 17 cents by 203 million so we end up with $144,485,250
So in 2007 the U.S. power suppliers were making just over 144 million dollars a year just by consumers charging their phones. How much of that money do you think they had to throw at the team who was developing a way to charge cell phones for FREE before they handed over the rights to their research? I would probably give up on John Q. Public for a measly 100 million or so myself.
So we are left with just a taste of what that technology could have meant for us. We have the pad and will soon have household surfaces (couch arms, coffee tables, computer desks, etc.) that will charge our phone just by laying it on top of them just as long as they stay plugged in so good ol' Uncle Power-Company gets 144 million a year (and that's just for the cell phones. Don't forget about the media players, PDA's, GPS units, etc.)
Herein lies the reason that we will probably never see the earlier technology and will be stuck with the pad (which still tethers you to a wall socket even if it works in a really cool way and you don't have to mess with multiple plugs)
In 2007 a study showed that there were about 203 million cell phones in use in the United States alone (2 billion world wide.)
My home has three phones in use. One by me (I talk very little), one by my wife (who talks a bit more) and one by our teenager (who texts a LOT). I figure we're a fairly rounded and average dynamic of users. My wife has to charge her phone daily, my son every day and a half or so and I charge every few days. Charging takes about 3 hours for each of our phones.
My chargers are all very close in their energy consumption. One uses 22 watts and two of them use 33 watts each.
So here comes the math (this happens a lot with me)
I charge every 3 days
kid charges every 1.5 days
wife charges every 1 day
Average 1.8 days between charging (I'll go low ball here and call it once every 2 days)
Average power consumption = (33+33+22)/3 = 29.3 watts (I'll round up to 30 and make up for that low ball)
Charging time for each phone = 3 hours
3 hours @ 30 watts = 90 watt hours (every 2 days) = 45 watt hours per day
Any of you who pay the electric bill know that you are charged by the kilowatt hour and not the watt hour. So here is where our number gets small because we divide it by 1000.
My household uses .045 kilowatt hours per day to charge our phones.
We pay 13 cents per kilowatt hour for our energy (SCE {Southern California Edison} are highway robbers) so we pay .00585 dollars per day to charge our three phones (about half a cent for those paying attention.)
That isn't much at all even less when you divide it by 3 (to get the amount each phone costs). Even at 365 days a year that's only 71 cents a year we spend charging one phone. But remember that first little statistic? There were, in 2007, 203 million cell phones in use in the United States. So let's multiply that 17 cents by 203 million so we end up with $144,485,250
So in 2007 the U.S. power suppliers were making just over 144 million dollars a year just by consumers charging their phones. How much of that money do you think they had to throw at the team who was developing a way to charge cell phones for FREE before they handed over the rights to their research? I would probably give up on John Q. Public for a measly 100 million or so myself.
So we are left with just a taste of what that technology could have meant for us. We have the pad and will soon have household surfaces (couch arms, coffee tables, computer desks, etc.) that will charge our phone just by laying it on top of them just as long as they stay plugged in so good ol' Uncle Power-Company gets 144 million a year (and that's just for the cell phones. Don't forget about the media players, PDA's, GPS units, etc.)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Could I be insane? Or maybe just really smart?
So I picked the kids up from school today and one of them said "Hi" so I responded "low." They were, for some reason, fascinated by this. So I explained the idea of being presented with random words or phrases and responding with the first thing that pops into your mind. I know this is an exercise used by psychologists, employers and others to gauge certain aspects of a person's psyche. The thing is...even I was kind of taken aback by some of my responses. Here are a few.
McDonalds : therapy
Skate : Day of the Rope
Basketball Hoop: Orangutan
Park : Hang glider
Quicksand : Frisbee
Marshmallow : Alien
Those are the few that remain fresh in my memory from the 10 minute long session we had in which we bounced words around as I drove. The thing is that I can explain all of them. It's just that I can't explain how I jumped from the impetus to my reactive word(s) without hitting upon the steps in between until I gave retrospective thought to it.
It seems to me that someone administering a test of this sort to me would find my answers to be rather insane. So I wonder if my having skipped several logical steps in the relational chain is a sign that my mind is still going strong and just thinks so quickly and so efficiently that it doesn't have to register all the steps in order to reach the conclusion or if it means that my mind has weakened to the point where it gets lost along it's way and instead of being able to relate the very first thought in the though chain it wanders along that chain momentarily before tripping on a link down the line and spewing forth apparently random nonsense.
McDonalds : therapy
Skate : Day of the Rope
Basketball Hoop: Orangutan
Park : Hang glider
Quicksand : Frisbee
Marshmallow : Alien
Those are the few that remain fresh in my memory from the 10 minute long session we had in which we bounced words around as I drove. The thing is that I can explain all of them. It's just that I can't explain how I jumped from the impetus to my reactive word(s) without hitting upon the steps in between until I gave retrospective thought to it.
It seems to me that someone administering a test of this sort to me would find my answers to be rather insane. So I wonder if my having skipped several logical steps in the relational chain is a sign that my mind is still going strong and just thinks so quickly and so efficiently that it doesn't have to register all the steps in order to reach the conclusion or if it means that my mind has weakened to the point where it gets lost along it's way and instead of being able to relate the very first thought in the though chain it wanders along that chain momentarily before tripping on a link down the line and spewing forth apparently random nonsense.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Sansa e200 playlist sync problem
I have been searching for three days to solve a problem with my SanDisc Sansa e270 MP3. When I first got it I loaded it up with all my music, videos and playlists with no problems whatsoever. After having installed some updates to my system and such I find I'm suddenly unable to use Windows Media Player 11 to synchronize playlists. It will copy all of the music to the player but not the playlist. This was quite frustrating as I use my player almost exclusively to listen to audio books.
Well, three days later (which is almost unheard of for me as I am a VERY good internet researcher) I finally found a solution. It seems that this problem is common to ALL e200 series players that Sansa has created. NONE of them are working anymore (way to go Microsoft.) Turns out there is someone out there looking out for all of us Sansa users though. A company called "Hot Coffee Software has created a FREE Sansa Playlist creator and editor. It lets you use the player in MSC mode so you can drag and drop just like you would in Explorer. It lets you create, edit and merge playlists. You can make playlists from files on your computer or files that are already on your Sansa player. It is THE solution to the Sansa playlist problem.
You can find the file here http://hcware.110mb.com/sansa/ and I must give linkage to the place that led me to this find which is a forum at a place called "anything but ipod" (which, despite my love for Apple, is something dear to my heart as I hate ipods) You can find the link to the forum post here http://www.anythingbutipod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3827&highlight=playlists and I would imagine that a few other non ipod issues might be solved at this forum as well.
Well, three days later (which is almost unheard of for me as I am a VERY good internet researcher) I finally found a solution. It seems that this problem is common to ALL e200 series players that Sansa has created. NONE of them are working anymore (way to go Microsoft.) Turns out there is someone out there looking out for all of us Sansa users though. A company called "Hot Coffee Software has created a FREE Sansa Playlist creator and editor. It lets you use the player in MSC mode so you can drag and drop just like you would in Explorer. It lets you create, edit and merge playlists. You can make playlists from files on your computer or files that are already on your Sansa player. It is THE solution to the Sansa playlist problem.
You can find the file here http://hcware.110mb.com/sansa/ and I must give linkage to the place that led me to this find which is a forum at a place called "anything but ipod" (which, despite my love for Apple, is something dear to my heart as I hate ipods) You can find the link to the forum post here http://www.anythingbutipod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3827&highlight=playlists and I would imagine that a few other non ipod issues might be solved at this forum as well.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Tired of the sock battle
I know this just MIGHT cause some of you to pass out so please take a seat (if, by some chance, you were standing at your computer or maybe using a public internet kiosk at a mall just to access my blog.) I'm actually going to write something of USE.
So here's the thing. I married into a family of 4. Three of those are children. Children apparently have some odd flaws. They are incapable of certain acts pertaining to footwear. They can't seem to sort socks, they can't seem to distinguish between their socks and those belonging to others and when they are GIVEN a PAIR of their OWN socks they can't seem to get them BOTH into the laundry basket for the same wash cycle.
All these things borne in mind and realizing that I really hate dealing with a huge basket of socks (ours has pretty much become a perpetual basket that stays in the kids room and they pull socks out as needed)I have come up with an idea.
Now this is not an entirely new idea. I've seen part of it employed before. The first part is easy. Use a laundry marker to put your child's initial on their socks. If it makes the kid feel better you can agree on a shape, smiley face, colored X or whatever. Now this helps to keep their own socks on their own feet. But it really doesn't help when it comes to them trying to find a pair that matches. So I have decided that when new socks are purchased not only will their initial go onto the sock but it will be followed by a number.
Zach will have two Z-1 socks and two Z-2 socks etc. This will solve a number of issues. Firstly, it will make sorting a breeze. You sort the letters and match the numbers and you're done. It also helps to eliminate orphan socks. When a sock becomes torn or stretched or blood stained you dispose of it and it's numeric pair. It can also be used as a pre wash incentive. You can line up the socks and tell at a glance which have a mate missing somewhere in the house and send your children on a search for just the missing ones.
So that's my future plan in a nut shell. I figure that I won't have to go much higher than a 24 on the numbering. That's a few packs of socks and by the time you've had to purchase a third or fourth pack of socks for your kid they had better have a good reason for needing them (meaning that the lower numbers will have been thrown out and can then be reused.)
So here's the thing. I married into a family of 4. Three of those are children. Children apparently have some odd flaws. They are incapable of certain acts pertaining to footwear. They can't seem to sort socks, they can't seem to distinguish between their socks and those belonging to others and when they are GIVEN a PAIR of their OWN socks they can't seem to get them BOTH into the laundry basket for the same wash cycle.
All these things borne in mind and realizing that I really hate dealing with a huge basket of socks (ours has pretty much become a perpetual basket that stays in the kids room and they pull socks out as needed)I have come up with an idea.
Now this is not an entirely new idea. I've seen part of it employed before. The first part is easy. Use a laundry marker to put your child's initial on their socks. If it makes the kid feel better you can agree on a shape, smiley face, colored X or whatever. Now this helps to keep their own socks on their own feet. But it really doesn't help when it comes to them trying to find a pair that matches. So I have decided that when new socks are purchased not only will their initial go onto the sock but it will be followed by a number.
Zach will have two Z-1 socks and two Z-2 socks etc. This will solve a number of issues. Firstly, it will make sorting a breeze. You sort the letters and match the numbers and you're done. It also helps to eliminate orphan socks. When a sock becomes torn or stretched or blood stained you dispose of it and it's numeric pair. It can also be used as a pre wash incentive. You can line up the socks and tell at a glance which have a mate missing somewhere in the house and send your children on a search for just the missing ones.
So that's my future plan in a nut shell. I figure that I won't have to go much higher than a 24 on the numbering. That's a few packs of socks and by the time you've had to purchase a third or fourth pack of socks for your kid they had better have a good reason for needing them (meaning that the lower numbers will have been thrown out and can then be reused.)
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Texting Addiction
So I got a wild hair and looked up texting addiction. This is because of viewing the usage history for my 14 year old since we allowed him to spend his allowance on unlimited texting. I found one article where the addicted person being interviewed said that they sometimes reached 5000 messages a month. Another article complained of a child running up a $600+ bill with texting (equaling over 12,000 messages).
Well here is a sad look into my child's life.
Between the 22nd of May and the 13th of June he has sent or received 14,066 text messages. That's in only 22 days. As I'm sure you're figuring out I'm obsessed with numbers. He's averaged 639 messages a day. I'll assume he sleeps 9 hours a night (I'm using yesterday as a gauge: he got up (started texting) at 9:10 and went to bed (stopped texting) at 11:48 so that is around 15 waking hour.) So 15 hours a day waking time for 22 days is 330 hours. That is 42.6 texts per waking hour.
Oh, and using yesterday as a guide I found that 47% of those are sent by him.
It is kind of scary to hear someone calling out that they are a texting addict with only 5000 texts per month (though I will admit they don't specify if that was total texts or only sent texts) when my child has SENT approximately 6,653 in only 22 days.
Now there is one ray of hope here. One tidbit that may indicate that he's not QUITE as addicted as he may seem. You see, many of his friends pay for their own cell plans and they have figured out that they can get an absolutely minimal minute plan with unlimited texting. That allows them to have conversations with multiple persons at one time and also allows them to converse in an unlimited fashion without using thousands of talking minutes and therefore having to pay massive amounts for a voice plan to cover those minutes.
Still, I think it's an addiction...but maybe that's just me.
UPDATE: As of the end of the billing cycle (5/22/09 to 6/22/09) he sent and received a total of 20953 text messages (677 per day average) Oh, and for any pot / kettle types out there...my total messaging for that month was 715 and my wife's was 235 and we both use instant messaging on our phones.
Well here is a sad look into my child's life.
Between the 22nd of May and the 13th of June he has sent or received 14,066 text messages. That's in only 22 days. As I'm sure you're figuring out I'm obsessed with numbers. He's averaged 639 messages a day. I'll assume he sleeps 9 hours a night (I'm using yesterday as a gauge: he got up (started texting) at 9:10 and went to bed (stopped texting) at 11:48 so that is around 15 waking hour.) So 15 hours a day waking time for 22 days is 330 hours. That is 42.6 texts per waking hour.
Oh, and using yesterday as a guide I found that 47% of those are sent by him.
It is kind of scary to hear someone calling out that they are a texting addict with only 5000 texts per month (though I will admit they don't specify if that was total texts or only sent texts) when my child has SENT approximately 6,653 in only 22 days.
Now there is one ray of hope here. One tidbit that may indicate that he's not QUITE as addicted as he may seem. You see, many of his friends pay for their own cell plans and they have figured out that they can get an absolutely minimal minute plan with unlimited texting. That allows them to have conversations with multiple persons at one time and also allows them to converse in an unlimited fashion without using thousands of talking minutes and therefore having to pay massive amounts for a voice plan to cover those minutes.
Still, I think it's an addiction...but maybe that's just me.
UPDATE: As of the end of the billing cycle (5/22/09 to 6/22/09) he sent and received a total of 20953 text messages (677 per day average) Oh, and for any pot / kettle types out there...my total messaging for that month was 715 and my wife's was 235 and we both use instant messaging on our phones.
Friday, June 5, 2009
2 days of my life
It seems that the people in my house are incapable of operating the spring loaded toilet paper roller. At least none of them seem to want to. I have realized that living in a house with five people we go through a roll of toilet paper a day. And I have noticed that I am the only one who puts it on the roller. I have also registered the fact that it takes me 6 to 10 seconds to complete this task.
So assuming that this task takes 10 seconds every time (sometimes I drop the toilet paper and sometimes I have to go into the hall for a new roll so a high estimate isn't uncalled for). Now let's assume I'll live to be 80 years old. Having started this routine of mine at about 30 years of age when I married into my family we'll say I'll do this for 50 years. Now I know that the kids will eventually move out (probably) but at that point we'll probably change over to a more comfortable if slightly more expensive toilet paper and will use the smaller rolls. We will also probably use the bathroom more often as we will be getting older. As such I'll assume that I will continue to change the roll once a day.
In 50 years there will be 18,250 days. Ten seconds per day is 182,500 seconds spent changing toilet paper. That works out to 2 days 2 hours 41 minutes 40 seconds. So I'm going to spend over 2 full days of my life putting toilet paper on the roller.
Now if that's not a crappy deal I don't know what is. ;-)
So assuming that this task takes 10 seconds every time (sometimes I drop the toilet paper and sometimes I have to go into the hall for a new roll so a high estimate isn't uncalled for). Now let's assume I'll live to be 80 years old. Having started this routine of mine at about 30 years of age when I married into my family we'll say I'll do this for 50 years. Now I know that the kids will eventually move out (probably) but at that point we'll probably change over to a more comfortable if slightly more expensive toilet paper and will use the smaller rolls. We will also probably use the bathroom more often as we will be getting older. As such I'll assume that I will continue to change the roll once a day.
In 50 years there will be 18,250 days. Ten seconds per day is 182,500 seconds spent changing toilet paper. That works out to 2 days 2 hours 41 minutes 40 seconds. So I'm going to spend over 2 full days of my life putting toilet paper on the roller.
Now if that's not a crappy deal I don't know what is. ;-)
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